Geraldton Property Market Propped Up By Robust Circular Economy

In a feat that continues to baffle economists, real estate agents, and even the occasional clairvoyant, Geraldton house prices have remained inexplicably buoyant — soaring against the backdrop of what can only be described as a regional Mad Max reboot, minus the budget.

Despite a cocktail of social, economic, and infrastructural challenges that would flatten lesser towns, property prices in the coastal city continue to rise, seemingly powered by blind optimism and the desperate hope that Perth buyers don't zoom in on Google Street View too closely.

Consider the current context:
Unemployment? Robust.
Violent crime? Record-breaking.
Youth engagement? Missing, presumed vaped.
New development? Servos and Bottleshops.
Council rates? High enough to qualify as a separate form of theft.

Geraldton’s allure, it seems, is not based on jobs, investment, or amenity. The town’s main employment sectors now appear to be FIFO, Centrelink, and stealing other people's motorbikes.

Yet the median house price refuses to budge — propped up by the age-old real estate principles of ocean glimpses, nostalgic denial, and the fact that “you can’t buy views like that in Perth, mate.”

As one local agent explained while hastily shooing a group of shirtless teenagers away from a home open, “It’s not about what’s here. It’s about what could be here… we need to think big picture, think Oakajee.”

Oakajee — the ghost project that haunts the dreams of Mid West planners — is once again being floated, like an old raft drifting back to shore. Locals remain cautiously hopeful. Or delusional. After the recent approval of $350M worth of upgrades to the existing port the latter seems more likely.

Meanwhile, Geraldton’s circular economy has reached a sort of closed-loop absurdity: we export high-value commodities like iron ore, grain, and crayfish, and in return, import staggering quantities of methamphetamine. It’s a delicate balance, really — a yin and yang of prosperity and psychosis.

For the discerning investor with a strong sense of irony, Geraldton now offers the rare opportunity to secure a charming asbestos 3x1 on stilts in scenic Rangeway — all for the low, low price of just half a million dollars. Boasting original fibro flair, mismatched fencing, and panoramic views of your neighbour’s pitbulls, this elevated relic of the 1970s is a true monument to the region’s housing boom delusion.

In terms of civic development, Geraldton has embraced the “servo convenience model,” ensuring that no resident is more than 500 metres from a hot pie, 98 octane, or an underwhelming coffee. Experts have noted that this layout is “deeply stupid,” but concede it is at least consistent.

Yet, for all its challenges, Geraldton clings to an odd charm. There’s a community here — a rugged, sunburnt, loud one — that shows up for fireworks, hastily organised festivals, and stolen car chases. It’s a place where your neighbour might lend you a mower or rob you, depending on the time of day.

So, while the rest of the country watches in disbelief as Geraldton home values float ever higher, the locals nod knowingly. After all, this is the 6530 and its home.

Horace J Lightworthy reporting from the Point Moore Lighthouse on behalf of the Commonwealth Department of Maritime Luminescence.