Geraldton Sees First Wave of Counterfeit $5 Notes, Forger Reportedly Unaware Other Colours Exist

Geraldton has a new claim to fame as the home of the world first attempt at counterfeiting $5 notes this week, after a man from Lower Tarcoola Beach (formerly known as Mahomets Flats, pending successful rebranding) was found producing a modest but ambitious batch of fake fivers.

According to sources, the would-be forger was unaware that Australian currency comes in a range of colours beyond purple. "I thought that was all the money," he reportedly told our correspondent.

Investigators later confirmed the man’s upbringing in Lower Tarcoola Beach had played a role, noting that limited financial exposure growing up meant he had only ever seen fivers. "It's not wilful ignorance," said one officer. "In this cost-of-living crisis when your considering afterpay for a drink from the servo, purple is the whole rainbow."

The operation might have gone undetected longer if not for one critical oversight: he was still printing the Queen’s portrait on them. In a tragicomic twist, this instantly gave away the notes as out of date — although several local businesses reportedly still accepted them "out of respect."

Unfortunately for the forger, the days of buying a pint with a fiver are long gone, with the cheapest pint in Geraldton now sitting at a suspicious $10.07. Locals remain baffled at the 7-cent surcharge, widely seen as both inconvenient and petty.

After fronting the Geraldton Magistrates Court, the man was obviously let off with a warning, with the magistrate noting that "the effort was charming, as if I am going to break our 15 year streak of finding everyone innocent for a bunch of fake five dollar notes."

In an exciting development for Point Moore Press, he has since been offered part-time employment in our newsroom, assisting with graphic design and minor forgery tasks. He will be paid in fivers as we still couldnt convince him the red ones were better.

Point Moore Press: proudly supporting local innovation (within reason).