West End to Receive 1,842m Jetty in Long-Awaited Response to Busselton Arrogance

Point Moore Press – Bluey McTaggart

In a bold, taxpayer-funded act of regional one-upmanship, the City of Greater Geraldton has announced plans to construct a 1,842-metre jetty off the West End foreshore — exactly one metre longer than Busselton’s.

The decision, years in the making and fuelled largely by petty resentment and fishing envy, was described by officials as a "historic moment of finally putting those smug, southern sea-snobs back in their place."

“Cop that you southern dogs!” declared one animated council representative at a hastily arranged press conference held next to a pile of reclaimed timber and Bunnings snags. “Been a long time coming too, thinking they are better than us just because they are closer to Dunsborough. You know they used to kill whales off that thing, right?”

The new structure, dubbed the "Anti-Busselton Beam", will stretch so far into the Indian Ocean that council has proposed installing its own time zone and possibly a petrol station halfway down for weary walkers and oversized rec fishers towing eskies on e-scooters.

Unlike Busselton’s family-friendly, heritage-style jetty, the Geraldton version will reportedly include:

• A tattoo parlour,
• A bait shop that also does Centrelink claims,
• And a viewing platform specifically angled to glare menacingly south.

Council documents claim the project is “less about tourism and more about proving a point,” and early concept art includes a 10-metre-high LED sign at the jetty’s end that just says “Get Wrecked, Busselton.”

The announcement has sparked fierce debate online, with Busselton locals arguing it’s a waste of ratepayer money. Geraldton residents have responded with memes, drone footage of jetty construction, and a petition to rename the foreshore “Better Than Yours Park.”

Funding for the jetty will come from a combination of rate hikes, bingo night raffles, and a controversial plan to fine tourists who mispronounce Geraldton as "Jeraldton."

Construction is set to begin mid-2025, with completion expected by 2027 — assuming the crew doesn’t get redeployed building a servo on Marine Terrace halfway through.

Meanwhile, Busselton has already hinted at extending their jetty by two metres, prompting Geraldton council to hold an emergency session titled "Operation: No You Don't."