Geraldton Water No Longer Smelt from Space — ISS Investigation Uncovers Pipe Switch Horror

GERALDTON — In a scandal causing widespread nausea but almost no surprise, Water Corporation has confirmed that Geraldton’s drinking water intake and sewage outtake pipes were accidentally switched earlier this year — a blunder so bad it was first noticed by astronauts aboard the International Space Station.

The alarm was raised when NASA’s orbital olfactory monitoring systems suddenly stopped detecting Geraldton’s signature stench — a smell described by astronauts as “hot bin juice marinated in chlorine” that had reliably wafted into the ISS cabin every 90 minutes since at least 2018.

“At first, I thought someone had taken their socks off near the airlock,” said ISS Commander Yuri Plotnikov. “But then it kept not happening. Eventually we realised… the smell of Geraldton was gone.”

Concerned that a major event had occurred — possibly a chemical leak, a blackout, or worse, Geraldton finally installing proper plumbing — NASA alerted Australian authorities. A joint investigation by Water Corporation and the CSIRO led to a revolting discovery: since January, Geraldton’s drinking water pipes had been connected to the town’s raw sewage outflow, and vice versa.

For six months, residents unknowingly drank, showered, cooked, and made baby formula with lightly filtered effluent — a situation only exposed when, ironically, the absence of the smell was detected… from 400 kilometres above Earth.

“The irony is incredible,” said Dr. Liesel Stenchberg, from the National Odour Observatory. “Geraldton’s treated tap water was so pungent, we could smell it from orbit. But when they started piping raw sewage through the same system? Nothing. Clean as a whistle — at least by Geraldton standards.”

The switch, reportedly caused during a rushed infrastructure upgrade over the New Year, went unnoticed by both officials and the public — a fact that, to many locals, is the most disturbing part.

“I just assumed it was Geraldton water,” said café owner Rhonda Bellamy. “We told tourists it was mineral-rich. Turns out it was... something else entirely.”

Water Corporation issued a formal apology Monday morning, calling it “a regrettable plumbing oversight of interstellar proportions.” CEO Malcolm Gurgler, speaking at a press conference while noticeably avoiding a glass of Geraldton tap water, said the error occurred because “both pipes were the same size, and honestly, we were still hungover from New Year’s.”

Health officials have attempted to calm concerns, insisting that most residents “likely built up immunity by late February” and that side effects are “mostly psychological and mostly confined to people who own SodaStreams.”

In classic regional resilience, Geraldton locals have embraced the disaster with humour. One Facebook group has rebranded as Proudly Poopy Since January, and a local brewery has already released a limited-run brown ale called Number Two Lager.

Meanwhile, NASA has reinstated Geraldton on its orbital stench registry now that the proper tap water has returned.

“We’re relieved,” said Commander Plotnikov. “It’s good to know Geraldton’s still there. Still doing... Geraldton things.”

The Water Corporation has promised free bottled water and one complimentary gastroenterology appointment per household. A full review is underway, with early reports revealing the error may have been flagged in January but dismissed by staff as “probably just a toner warning.”

When asked how raw sewage passed undetected for six months, Gurgler shrugged: “Honestly? Geraldton water’s always smelt worse.”